


knowing and loving and feeling

by everythingisgay



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluffy, I wrote this quickly, Multi, OT4, Polyamory, looooveeeee, love love love, pretty fucking gay, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 09:27:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15992402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingisgay/pseuds/everythingisgay
Summary: Jennie loves. She loves and she loves and she loves. she knows she is loved in return.





	knowing and loving and feeling

**Author's Note:**

> hope u like!!! follow me @gojihyoee on twitter

_The day Jennie realized she was in love with Jisoo was the same day her dream came true. The best part about it was she was almost one hundred percent certain that Jisoo loved her back._

_Jennie had just finished recording their debut song, Boombayah when it happened. She was sitting on the couch talking to Lisa and Chaeyoung about anything that came to mind. her heart was steady, despite the circumstances and she allowed a smile to appear as she listened to Lisa and Chaeyoung talk giddily about their upcoming debut. Their dreams were coming true, and god was it worth it. The pain and the crying and the yelling, it all burned down to the moment the video would be released and she would be known. she would be known as Jennie of Blackpink. And even better, she was doing it with the girls she cared about deeply._

_Things had been strained between her and Jisoo for a while. Their relationship had gone from touching and touching to sexual tension they would never be able to resolve. She missed the feelings of satisfaction, the freedom, the release. And she knew Jisoo did, too. If their slipups meant anything. That was at the beginning, and they learnt from that. Every time they slipped up (which was pretty often in the beginning), there was a wall that was put up. They didn’t look, because if they did, they would touch. It was awkward, and eventually they had to move rooms with Lisa and Chaeyoung. Lisa and Jennie roomed while Chaeyoung and Jisoo did._

_That worked. The sexual tension was there, especially when there was dancing involved. But now that they were no longer going to bed together, there was no temptation for **more.** Maybe they shared a look, a smouldering, dark look of want that was trapped within their eyes but that was it. They’d walk down the hallways together, space between them and speak. They would speak and look and want and want and want but they would part ways. It was easy when each of the pair had a girl whom they were slowly falling for behind the door they opened to rest in. _

_Falling in love with Lisa was quick. To put it simply, Jennie’s only thought was how could you not? Waking up to Lisa’s quiet singing, her loving touches and teasing smile. It was too much not to love her. It was quick, and it was easy and that was it. She did not question her love, she simply recognized it and allowed her heart to beat the way it did. She didn’t try to stop it, why would she? There were worse things in the world than loving someone._

_Jennie had learnt to love the mornings a little more with Lisa and Chaeyoung. She had learnt to tolerate them when she woke up with Jisoo by her side, face pressed against her chest. With Lisa, she enjoyed the soft voice that she woke up to singing a sad song. Usually a sad song in the morning would bring someone down, but Lisa never failed to make her happy. Happy seemed to be all Jennie could feel. She saw trainees with their sunken eyes and grim smiles’, but she could no longer relate to it. At one point, maybe. But she was full of a love and energy she could not explain in any language she spoke. She could not articulate the words to explain how she felt for the girl whom she spent her nights and morning with. When dawn seeped into the world, fresh and rosy in light and atmosphere, she would feel it in her chest when Lisa would be singing into the hairbrush or humming if there was a toothbrush in her mouth instead. The doe eyes would connect with hers and she would be showered with love immediately. A wide smile would be all Jennie could see, the laughter bubbling in her chest and leaving her mouth made everything that little better._

_Waking up with Chaeyoung was a different story. Perhaps she’d wake up to the soft strumming of her guitar, a caress on her cheek, the hair being brushed off her face or the blanket being moved back into place because of course Chaeyoung had noticed Jennie shivering in her sleep. Of course, this kind and gentle woman with the convenient name of Roseanne, soft and graceful in meaning fits her for who she truly is. Everything was soft about loving Chaeyoung. There was the purity of loving Chaeyoung that overwhelmed Jennie in the best way possible. Her heart did not speed up like it did with Lisa, it slowed down. The quietness that spoke loudly allowed Jennie to ride the waves of the calming ocean. She floated atop it like the dead sea, but she did not feel dead. She was alive and floating above the water. She was not drowning. How could she with a calla lily by her side, smiling with a brightness that could give the sun a run for its money and a voice that could make goose bumps appear on your arms._

_So, when Jisoo comes to her one day and asks if they can hang out, one on one, a part of her knew what was going to happen next. So of course, she agreed, grabbed her jumper and off they went. It was awkward at first. They hadn’t spent too much time alone fearing what would happen if they did. Their hearts belonged to other girls and they would not dream of giving themselves to someone else they do not love like Chaeyoung and Lisa. But when Jisoo said something idiotic and Jennie teased her, it was okay. Jisoo just shoved her, they laughed, and it was back to before they had to separate._

_For the following hours in the coffee shop, it was quite peaceful. They caught up, talking about training and how they were feeling about their debut that they were hoping would truly happen. Then it went silent when the mention of bandmates came up. Until-_

_“I’m in love with Lisa and Chaeyoung.” Jennie blurted out quickly, shutting her eyes because_ **idiot, oh my god you fucked up. You really fucked up.**

****

****

_“oh my god,” Jisoo breathed out with wide eyes. “I’m in love with them, too.”_ ] 

_“Well, shit. What the-” Jennie groaned, shoving her head into her hands._

_“We’re a damn mess.” Jisoo laughed, trying to distil the tension. Thankfully, for some reason, both girls decided it was better to laugh at the situation rather than cry. Crying would equate to defeat. They did not feel defeated. They were not tired of loving, they wanted to love forever and ever if they could._

_They left it at that, but after what they deemed the coffee shop talk, there was the mutual understanding of how in love they were for their two best friends._

_\--------_

_It was no surprise that Jennie and Jisoo began to spend more one on one time together. They felt more comfortable together now that they were in love with the same people. (But not each other, oh, no.) The closer that they became, the easier touching became again. Not sex. But holding hands, hugging and lying on the bed or wherever with their bodies pressed together and their limbs entangled. It was easier, and it was nice. Nice. Jennie couldn’t seem to find any other word for it but that. Everything just felt so, so nice around Jisoo. She could never deny that. Being with Jisoo was like touching the sky or the stars. She felt powerful and like her dreams were coming true. Touching the untouchable, the cosmos, the universe. The unreachable. But Jisoo was never out of reach anymore. Not when they never let go of one another. There was a feeling there, under everything else but Jennie never bothered to listen to it. She decided to just be. To feel, and to be happy and content without searching for more._

_Perhaps they could have realized they loved each other earlier, but that wasn’t what the world had planned._

_So, Jennie realized she was in love with Jisoo when said girl sat beside her as she continued to talk to Rosie and Lisa and she felt complete. Like the last piece of her heart had reattached itself unknowingly. She stared at the girl for a moment, her eyes, her lips, her face. How she sat there quietly, close to Jennie and was subtly leaning against her as she paid attention to what Lisa and Chaeyoung were saying. Jennie was warm, her heart beating in her chest like a beautiful melody. Jisoo turned to her with a soft smile, eyes crinkling as she bit her lip and pressed her nose against Jennie’s shoulder for a few seconds and then returned to the conversation. And Jennie felt it. Felt the way Jisoo looked her in the eyes intensely. It stirred something deep inside until it clicked because God, not only was this the best thing that had ever happened to her, it was also incredibly dangerous._

_The same thing happened, but this time Jennie was the one who initiated it. Jennie was going to ask Jisoo if they could go out again. Maybe to the same Coffee shop. It was cheap and nice. Cheap being the key part seeing as being a trainee didn’t mean you had a lot of money._

_She stared at the door, knowing fully that this was it. Her heart will be seen for what it is in its fullest form for the first time._

_She knocked._

_“Just a sec!” she heard Jisoo yell out, before the door was opened clumsily. “hey! What’s up?”_

_“Do you wanna get some coffee?” Jennie asked, scuffling her feet in place, trying her best to hide her nerves._

********

********

_A look of realization filtered through the eldest girl’s quickly, and Jennie barely caught it. Jisoo knew, she knew and maybe she would should the door in Jennie’s face-_

_“Of course!” Jisoo replied with a grin, skipping to the closet and grabbing a jumper and her bag. “Let’s go.”_ ] 

\---------------

_The coffee shop hadn’t changed much. It still held the same atmosphere as last time. It buzzed in a quiet sense of hurry. There was movement, but it was either too fast or too slow. They took their seats, a coffee in hand and Jennie allowed the bitter taste to take over. Coffee was something she would have to get used to. The sharp tinge it left on her taste-buds mixed with the burning feeling against the back of her throat before she swallowed. The smell of coffee was better than how it tasted._

_Her lips parted after another sip before sighing. “I- do you know what I want to say?” Jennie asked quietly, staring at Jisoo’s hands._

_“I think so.” Jisoo replied simply. “Your love for me, I cannot explain it. I can see it, I can feel it. And I return it.”_

_Jennie’s eyes snapped up, staring right into Jisoo’s. They were tender, soft and loving. She didn’t know how she didn’t notice it before. Perhaps she was too busy looking for something else to notice, but she found this. This love that seemed to seep from Jisoo’s eyes and the warmth it caused in the pit of Jennie’s stomach was perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Everything about this girl was perfectly crafted to create an aura of soft power, a hidden strength that oozed from her words of kindness and support. Her eyes which said the words she could not speak, the lyrics she could not write. Love, love, love. Her heart beat sang the only word she could describe in the moment, speeding up as it echoed in her mind._

_“I-” Jennie paused, “I love you, but I love Chaeyoung and Lisa, too.”_

_Jisoo only hummed in response, “I know. It’s not that hard to tell because I feel the same.”_

_There was silence, the sounds of the café taking over as they pondered the words spoken. It was brief, but it was enough. Neither had felt the need to run about the subject, to play with words or create a metaphor. It was simple. They loved each other like a poet loved their words, or a painter loved their paintbrushes. It seemed to make sense._

_“We have to be careful, you know that right?” Jennie said, breaking the silence._

_Jisoo nodded in response, “We have a lot more to talk about.”_

_“We do. But first, let’s make this a date?” Jennie proposed._

_“I’d love nothing more.” Jisoo winked, holding up her coffee cup which Jennie clinked hers with._

_“How’s the coffee?” Jisoo asked, setting hers down on the table._

_“perfectly bitter.” Jennie replied. Just like this moment, she added in her head. Just like this moment._


End file.
